How to help your kids deal with bullying (2024)

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Listen-

First off, listening is one of the most important things someone can do for a child who is being bullied. This means listening without becoming angry, which may make the child not want to speak.

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The bullied child is the victim-

It probably goes without saying for most people, but never blame a child who is being bullied. No matter the case or situation, the child who is being bullied is a victim.

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Don't look for reasons-

Before anyone can help in a situation, they must first know what the problem is. This is why trying to find a reason why it may be the child’s fault will only make things worse because they will internalize it and stop speaking.

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Be a role model-

It is essential to be a role model for your child to deal with this kind of behavior by not personalizing the bullying yourself. This can be hard for parents who have been bullied themselves in the past.

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Draw from experience-

Every parent will have experienced some form of bullying in their lives at some point, even if they weren’t the victim. This experience will be what they can draw from in helping their child deal with bullying.

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Don't retaliate-

Retaliation is not the way forward when attempting to help a child who is being bullied, either against their parents or against the bully themselves.

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Guidance-

The instinct is to go directly to the source and stop the hurt immediately, but it's best to cool off for a period and have a third party as a mediator to address the bully.

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Why bullies bully-

Bullies gravitate to bullying kids who either are quiet or who they think they will get a specific reaction from, like an emotional one. They will usually choose a child who will take the insults (or any other form of abuse) to heart. This makes them feel powerful.

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Ignoring it can allow it to go on for too long-

When a child ignores insults or the bully’s presence, the bully will grow tired. However, this can take too long and can be excruciating for the victim.

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Contact the school-

By and large, it is the school’s responsibility to stop this kind of behavior occurring between students. Find someone in the body of staff who is empathetic to your child’s situation who is willing to do something to help.

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School staff can have a lot of influence-

Teachers, counselors, and principals have immense power in these kinds of situations. Generally, if children are forced to sit down and promise that they will stop their behavior, they will listen.

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The bully is just a child-

However unfortunate a child bully’s background may be, which is usually why they take it out on another child, they are still children, and they can be taught a lesson.

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The role of the school-

If a child is in the position where they will not say certain things to a parent, they may feel more comfortable speaking about it to a school counselor.

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Reaffirm the child-

You have to take the side of the bullied child. It has to be reaffirmed that they haven’t done something wrong and that they don't deserve what is happening to them.

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Love and support-

Love and support are essential things that can be shown to a child who is being bullied. The child needs to know that they are loved and that they are worthy.

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Parents need support too-

As hearing about a child being bullied is a very stressful thing, it’s essential to speak about it with other people too. Talking to a family member or friend can help share the emotional load, and other people may have some advice, too.

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Teach the child what's happening-

The child must understand what is happening and have a name for it: “bullying.” Having a word for it will help the child process what is happening.

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Help to build self-esteem-

As bullying can knock someone’s self-esteem, it can be constructive for a child to find something that they’re good at during and after it. It helps to reinforce their self-esteem.

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How to help build self-esteem-

Helping them find these kinds of activities can be as simple as driving them to practice or bringing them to meetings. They need something that makes them feel powerful, making them feel the opposite of how bullies make them feel.

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Patience is key-

Patience with a child who has been bullied is invaluable. A child who has been bullied may take a long time to get over it. It’s not a quick fix–they need to understand what has happened to them and gain a sense of control again over time.

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The child may not want to speak about it, but there are signs-

A range of feelings may cause a child who is being bullied to not tell a parent or adult about what is happening, so parents must understand the signs.

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Avoiding unsupervised areas and activities-

Children who are being bullied will often avoid the bathroom or other unsupervised areas in school. If the bully is present somewhere unsupervised, the victim will not want to be there.

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Online bullying-

Because a lot of bullying happens online or through technology, it is a sign that a child is being bullied if they become upset after looking at their device or computer.

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Losing friends-

Losing friends that they previously had is a sign that a child is being bullied. There are various reasons for this. One of the most common reasons is that their friends will try to stay out of the line of fire by not associating with them.

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Disinterested in activities and company-

Because bullying takes a toll on self-esteem and emotional well-being, a bullied child may want to spend more time alone and not want to do activities they usually enjoy.

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Negative self-talk-

Speaking about themselves negatively is a sign that someone has been bullied. A victim can start to believe the abuse that has been thrown at them.

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Other signs-

There are many other signs, too, like not eating or sleeping well, seeming anxious, acting differently, or being moody or easily upset. It will depend on the individual child.

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The takeaway-

Bullying is a horrible and damaging experience for anyone to go through, especially for children. However, it is not the end of the line. With the right kind of support, guidance, love, and affection, children can overcome the emotional harm that it causes and develop the tools to deal with bullies in their adolescent and adult lives.

Sources: (Parents) (KidsHealth) (Empowering Parents)

See also: Stars who were once victims of bullying

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